[Vomiting thoughts of wisdom at you]
[It’s disgusting, I know]
[Sorry, I love you]
“When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute-and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.” — Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein was not only remarkably cerebral and inventive, but so relatable. He can put a complex concept into layman’s terms, so that we-average minds can understand.
[that is so like stellar]
Humans always quote brilliant minds of the past/present. If ever in my life, I’m quoted on my natural brilliance then that would make me considerably noble like Albert Einstein and Oprah Winfrey.
[I’ve made it to the top, that’s what I’d say]
BROAD CITY: You’ll find this show to be droll and completely absurd.
[BROAD CITY] [ COMEDY CENTRAL] [CHECK IT OUT]
I like to feel worldly connected, so I listen to NPR and watch crappy reality t.v.
[What can I say… I like to be well-rounded]
It’s beer… I swear.
[This is for all my D.I.Y lovers, non-alcoholic drinkers, and people who re-use empty beer bottles]
If you want to take a break from alcohol sugar consumption because you have developed a beer gut and want to physically feel good about yourself because beach body season is near, take an empty craft beer bottle; whether you played a part in the result of the bottle being completely empty, just don’t let the contents that were in the bottle go to waste. (I won’t judge) Add your favorite tea whether it’s Kombucha or green tea, pour into the beer bottle. Then bring it over to the next stupid party. Try to look cool, keep your head up. And if anyone asks you if you got more beer, just say “shut your face, I only made one serving, you idiot!”
“When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than there was before.” — Clifton Fadiman
While re-reading “The Chronicles of Narnia,” I see that I’m more like Prince Caspian-strong-willed, courageous, brave, and most importantly handsome.
[I’m more handsome than before}
[ Most definitely]
Life is way too short to give up a sexy burger for a mediocre salad.
{grab a refreshing and boozy drink after you’ve just eaten your sexy, sexy burger}
{you’ll be dancing on clouds because you’re so happy or have fallen on to the floor because you’re so happy, full and drunk}
{But, I can only speak for myself}
This one’s for the books…
[word of the day]
[LAURF]
This is my word, don’t be a crow thief and say that you made this word from my your own hands(don’t be a liar)(because that doesn’t make any sense) because I’ll will follow you, then stalk you, and then push you into the lion’s den.
[But use the word freely and frequently]
LAURF: Laurf /lorf/
verb
Meaning: To laugh compulsively while releasing flatulence; the joint act of passing gas and laughing uncontrollably
“I couldn’t stop laurfing when my friend was reciting a joke from “The Big Bang Theory”
“Live well, love much, laurf in private”
“Joe’s laurf was undeniably loud”
[I posted it on wordnik]
[Go check to see if you don’t believe me]
My best moments occur in the shower.
{You dirty skunk} {I know what you were thinking}
but, seriously…
{My voice sounds like gold when I’m in the shower} {It’s science} [Your voice echoes and creates reverberation-making you sound like an amazing rock star}
Pauper's Prance 