The title says it all doesn’t? Before I get into this embarrassing story, I want to preface it with this… watch out for mucus globs!

I was in grade school when I was hit by a mucus glob. A mucus glob is not a silly thing I just made up, it’s real, a real strange thing you might find on an episode of Stranger Things. The whole entire moment happened so freakishly fast that I felt disoriented after I was hit. I digress.

I was working on an assignment with my group members. I don’t recall their names except for one, which was Jennifer (the most important character in this story). Jennifer was sitting across from me, coughing up a storm. Jennifer didn’t know how to cough properly, instead of lifting her arm to cough between her pits, Jennifer coughed with her hand which formed the letter O from American Sign Language. So every time she coughed, she would raise her hand up to her mouth in shape of the letter O. Jennifer’s offensive coughing fit allowed bacteria to move freely in open air, specially mucus. (No one was safe!) I happened to look at Jennifer at the exact moment she decided to cough—the mucus from her cough formed the most disgusting mucus glob and landed on my precious forehead. It was slimy and wet. I bolted towards the sink behind me and lathered water and soap all over my face. Soap became my best friend that day.

Jennifer kept apologizing, but my fury did not stop there. I scolded her for the next five minutes on how to properly cough. I also insisted my teacher to teach the whole class about cough etiquette.

I now have germophobia because of Jennifer. Thank you, Jennifer.

PSA: Mucus globs are real. If you find someone with a coughing fit…that thing in their throat…might land somewhere…beware.